


I don't know what I want, but I don't want to be alone.

by mariothellama



Series: Marco and Łukasz 2018-2019 [4]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Comfort, Developing Relationship, Hugging, Injury, Kissing, M/M, caressing, coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 17:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17708174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariothellama/pseuds/mariothellama
Summary: Marco hadn’t planned to drive to Łukasz's house. His car just seemed to go that way once he left the stadium. It was late. Łukasz might even have gone to bed. But he didn’t want to be alone tonight with the fear that kept nagging at his consciousness no matter how hard he tried to suppress it.





	I don't know what I want, but I don't want to be alone.

Marco hadn’t planned to drive to Łukasz's house. His car just seemed to go that way once he left the stadium. It was late. Łukasz might even have gone to bed. But he didn’t want to be alone tonight with the fear that kept nagging at his consciousness no matter how hard he tried to suppress it.

Parking outside Łukasz’s home, he took his bag out of the boot of the car, hoping that Łukasz wouldn’t just be awake but would let him stay the night. Taking a deep breath, he rang the buzzer on the entry phone. Łukasz answered almost straight away. That gave Marco hope. Maybe Łukasz had been waiting up for him? They were together, that they were sure of. But everything was still so strange and new that they were still feeling their way, not sure exactly what this thing was between them.

Marco didn’t yet know if he could depend on Łukasz as ... well as his ... as his ... 'boyfriend' sounded weird but 'partner' sounded so official. But he knew that he could always rely on his vice-captain and his friend, even if he was having incredibly hot sex with said friend and vice-captain. And tonight he just wanted to feel a pair of strong arms round him, chasing away the chill fingers of dread clenching his chest so tightly that it hurt to breathe in too deeply.

All that was forgotten as he was swept into a tight hug, his face buried in the warmth of the crook of Łukasz’s neck. He inhaled deeply, comforted by Łukasz’s familiar smell. Łukasz felt warm and solid against him, the fingers stroking his back easing the tension from his muscles. A soft kiss against his hair told him that his vice-captain understood.

‘You waited up for me?’ he asked, his face muffled against Łukasz’s t-shirt.

‘Of course. I didn’t know if you’d want to be alone tonight or not. So I wanted to be here for you if you needed me.’

Marco sighed happily. Łukasz understood. That made things so much easier.

‘I can’t help worrying. Thinking the worst. I know it’s the wrong thing to do. That I need to stay positive. The not knowing only makes it worse.’ He could hear how his voice faltered as he spoke, a telltale giveaway of the worry churning away inside him.

‘It’s not surprising. It’s every player’s nightmare. Especially with a history of injury. Especially with so many crucial games coming up. There is a weight of responsibility on your shoulders, Marco. But I’m here to carry it with you.’

‘Even though you have a sore foot! What a pair we are!’ Marco laughed for the first time that evening, even if there was an edge of gallows humour to it. ‘How is your foot?’

‘A bit painful, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. We Poles are tough, you know. And I’m in decent shape for an old man. I’ll be back soon.’ Now it was Łukasz’s turn for a touch of black humour.

‘The kids will just have to hold the fort for a bit then,’ Marco smiled. This time his smile was a bit more genuine. The warmth of Łukasz’s embrace was starting to melt the icy chill inside him.

He lifted up his face for a kiss, needing to feel the rough softness of Łukasz’s lips on his. Their bodies seemed to melt together as they kissed. Even though it was still a little weird being intimate with someone he’d known for so long, it never felt weird when they were actually together. It felt right and natural, as if they had been doing this for years, as if he and Łukasz had always been a thing.

He sighed softly, parting his lips in invitation, inviting Łukasz inside. Even though sex was the last thing on his mind right now, he still felt that tingle of electricity coursing through him as their tongues brushed together. Łukasz was holding him safe and tight, one hand supporting the small of his back, letting him arch into their kiss, surrendering his mouth, craving the strength and gentleness of Łukasz taking control of their kiss.

His lips were wet and tender by the time Łukasz finally broke their kiss. He felt somehow soft and relaxed, almost dreamlike, the cold dread inside kissed into submission.

‘You have your bag with you. So you’re staying the night then,’ Łukasz’s voice was quiet and low, authoritative but also like a caress. Marco had always loved that, loved the way that Łukasz sometimes uttered his name as if it was a term of endearment, even at work.

He nodded. ‘Yes. Can we go to bed now? If you want to, I mean.’

‘I was just waiting for you.’

‘You knew I would come, didn’t you?’

‘I hoped. But I would have understood if you’d wanted to be alone.’

‘I know. That’s why you were the one I wanted to be with.’

They went upstairs. It didn’t take long for either of them to get ready for bed. Marco crawled gratefully under the covers, curling up against Łukasz’s chest. He was exhausted but not yet ready for sleep. And since neither of them would be training tomorrow, for once they could enjoy the luxury of snuggling up like this in the darkness. They talked softly, the darkness making it easier to open up, Łukasz’s hand stroking up and down his arm soothingly. This was the intimacy of being with a lover that Marco had always craved, every bit as intimate as making love.

Talking turned to kissing, their kisses slow and easy but still sounding wet and passionate in the quiet dark of the bedroom. He wasn’t thinking about sex, but he could still feel himself getting hard, his body responding of its own will.

Gentle fingers caressed him everywhere between his thighs, soft and loving, cupping his balls through the fabric of his briefs, stroking over where the muscles had strained to the point of tearing. It was all in his imagination, of course, but Łukasz’s touch felt as if it was soothing and healing him.

They kissed in the darkness, Łukasz’s tongue everywhere in his mouth, Łukasz’s hand gently caressing the hardness straining against his briefs. Need and arousal prickled at the base of his spine, his need to come starting to become overwhelming, He pressed himself harder against Łukasz’s hand, rubbing himself against the hand massaging his length. He came with a strangled squeak, swallowed down by Łukasz’s kiss.

He lay there limp and satisfied, content to let Łukasz carefully ease him out of his sticky briefs and use them to clean him up slightly. Łukasz shrugged out of his own underwear before pulling Marco into his arms.

‘I’m OK,’ was the answer to Marco’s unspoken question. ‘This was all about you.’

‘I’ll make it up to you, I promise,’ Marco murmured, already half asleep.

‘I’ll hold you to that,’ chuckled Łukasz.

He felt better now. The worry and the uncertainty were still there and would never wholly go away. But after a good night’s sleep, he would be strong for whatever tomorrow would bring.


End file.
